the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
