is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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