I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
