You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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