my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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