walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize