ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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