i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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