Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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