Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
