Tell her she can't have a vagina
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
