sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
