whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
