Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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