We're like a lot better than the average bears
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
