WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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