Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize