Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
