So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
