there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
