Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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