Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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