Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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