I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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