You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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