Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
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theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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