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Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
