Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
