I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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