Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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