worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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