im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
