I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
