she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
