Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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