We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.