lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
