We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
