Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
