Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
