We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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