So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just sent this text using only my big toe
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
