I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
