I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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