No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
