We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize