The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
