it wasn't lemon gatorade
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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