Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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