Already got asked if we're dating
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
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How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.