your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This house was built for laser tag.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?