why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.