I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
