Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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