No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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