I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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