eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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