wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
