i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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