But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
