KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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