we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
