btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
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My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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