my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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