Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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