We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
