So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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