Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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