Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
