How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
