Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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