i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
